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SWF, My Online Dating Adventures! 1/30/2013
Total Views: 3153 - Total Replies: 5
Jan 29 2013, 8:09 pm - By swf1209


As the adventure continues....

Well, let me start with this...if you get a chance to go to a lock and key event, go. Its a lot of fun. There were about 85 people there. The guys get a key, and the girls get a lock. Every time someone opens your lock, you both get a raffle ticket for drawings at the end of the night. They had some really good prizes, and the concept of this was great. Instead of sitting around waiting for someone to approach you, you were on a mission to find as many matches as possible. Here's how dysfunctional I am, I got a phone number for my daughter and hooked my friend up with someone, me...nothing. 


Back to online dating, I met a guy who actually seemed normal and harmless, WRONG. Where shall I start. We were meeting and  going to get something to eat, I expressed how nervous I was to meet him. So he thought he would move over to my side of the booth, and proceeded to look down the front of my shirt. Red flag, but did I leave, no. I guess I thought I was that irresistible, I stayed. I actually went to his house about a week later, thought it would be safe, his son was there. Long story short, I got a flat tire on my way, and this sweet man was actually going to leave the hockey game to come rescue me. What a guy. Well, got to his house, his son was gone and I stepped into the world of strange. This guy keeps a notebook of all the women he's met online with comments next to their names. Second red flag. Then he proceeds to show me a duffle bag filled with strap-ons and vibrators. Third red flag. I told him he was crazy if he thought I was going to let him touch me with those. Other women had used those, ughhhh. He assured me they were clean, wait for it.....he ran them through the dishwasher. As I sipped my wine out of a glass that was probably cleaned in THAT dishwasher, I think I threw up a little in my mouth. He proceeded to tell me that he didn't take his Cialis, which he needs because he's a diabetic. He's also had cardiac surgery, has an ulcer on his foot that won't heal and isn't compliant with his medications. This man has more issues that Sports Illustrated. 


Did i end it there, you ask. No, I invite him over for breakfast the next morning. As I'm cooking breakfast, I see him standing in my living room in his boxers, he didn't want to sit around in his work clothes. I notice that familiar duffle bag, oh God, not in my house. Out of the magic bag of tricks come what i think are pajama jeans, who wears elastic waist jeans? Then he pulls out erection creams, knowing I have allergies, he wanted me to check the ingredients. Like these creams are going to come anywhere near me, not with a ten foot pole, which I'm guessing, he doesn't have. As if learning all of this wasn't enough, he asked me, wait for it.....would I cut his toenails ???   He has trouble doing them himself, and by the way, one of them is LOOSE !!!      Seriously !!!     Needless to say, I'm not seeing him anymore. Could you imagine waking up next to him and he's hunting for that toenail that fell off? 


I think they need to change the format of those profile questionnaires you have to fill out on these sites. I'm sure if I knew half of this beforehand, this date would not have happened. As they say, live and learn. Any guy I date next is going to know, I'm not a podiatrist, I will not groom your feet. As far as that notebook, I'm in there now with psycho next to my name.  I don't know, is it me, is anyone else having similar experiences?


Previous Adventures


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